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c.rann.writes

The spaghetti throwing is messing with my sleep sc

The spaghetti throwing is messing with my sleep schedule. During the day, I’m decidedly chill sending out queries—it’s just a grind—but at night, some latent part of me is clearly freaking out.

At least that part of me has hope again.

My anxiety oddly has more to latch onto with fear of success than it does fear of failure. Rejections aren’t fun, but they don’t change the status quo.

But when you want something this badly, you do it scared—and clearly you do it tired. The grind continues. I’m throwing out more queries in one go than I ever have.

Half a box of spaghetti at the wall.

To quote @alix_reads_and_dreams, with every heartbeat, with every breath, my mind, body, and soul chant, “May it stick. May it stick. May it stick.” ✨

#amquerying #aspiringauthor #writerlife #evilqueencandles #writersdesk #writercheckin #writersofinstagram #witchywriter

When @kaliecassidybooks joined @avasreid in classi

When @kaliecassidybooks joined @avasreid in classical paintings + book pairings (check out their posts, seriously—GORGEOUS), I immediately hopped to it.

And now I can’t stop staring.

They’ve got me in the book cover feels, and I’m not okay 🥹🫠💀.

Night, James Arthur O’Connor, c. 1828-1840 + The Moon Tells No Lies (#amquerying)

Anguish, August Friedrich Schenk, 1878 + The Stars See All (#amwriting, and also that title may change 😅💁🏻‍♀️).

If you’ve got time for a google rabbit hole and some Canva fiddling, I highly recommend hopping on this trend! Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed 🤩

#writerlife #aspiringauthor #writersofinstagram #bookcoverart #classicalpainting #witchyhorrorromance #darkfantasy #paranormalhorror #horrorwriter #witchywriter #fantasywriter

Sitting down to Stars for the first time this week

Sitting down to Stars for the first time this week. All my momentum fled me, chased off by the querying blues I’d been willfully trying to resist. I’m hoping a small session in a spicy scene will rekindle something. If not, oh well, more rest 🖤✨.

As for those blues, I’ve been waiting for my heart to heal from my last pass before I really dive back into the trenches. But honestly, idk if Stars can do that on her own. She’s in-universe, and we all know how many problems she’s given me. I think I may just have to sit down to query tracker with a heavy heart and a whole lot of fuck it energy—and just throw the whole rest of the spaghetti pie out there in one fell swoop. I’ve dragged this process out for nearly a year (for a lot of reasons), but I think it’s time to either get my yes or move on. All the blues are from me hanging out in the move on side of things anyway, so I think we need to wrap this up and get some closure.

Still going to beta Stars, still going to throw her spaghetti out there to see if something sticks. But it’ll be a lightning round compared to Moon. Quick and dirty. Get in, get out.

And then, as needed, we’ll let this universe rest for a while 🍂❄️🌿🌾.

Let a different one heal my heart.

#writercheckin #amwriting #amquerying #aspiringauthor #writerlife #creative #writersofinstagram #writersdesk #hoyaheads

Some anti-capitalist love notes for your mid-week

Some anti-capitalist love notes for your mid-week woes. Take what you need, leave the rest.

Trad pub blues and a little tickle of burnout in the back of the throat has me slowing down this week. My wip can wait. But while I rest, I figured some of my pep talks to myself might resonate with other writers and creatives here.

I did these in IG stories because the thought of making them pretty in Canva was a barrier to entry, and I figured when else should I be committed to doing the absolute least? 🖤✨

#writerlife #anticapitalism #anticapitalist #neoliberalism #creativelife #creativeaspirations #creativeaffirmations #amwriting #amquerying #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity

The vibe was ✨wander and think✨ on the trail t

The vibe was ✨wander and think✨ on the trail today. I’m finding it easier and easier to daydream about Stars, to feel that soft underbelly of creation that I love about first drafts. Ironic that it took me half a book to get there.

I’m also realizing, as I’m writing what will probably be 15k+ set in one location, that I have no clue how long this book will be. Well, for querying purposes, I do: under 100k. But how many drafts that will take is beyond me. There’s so much push and pull—so many dynamics these three characters have to work through before they can actually be together and take on the spooky big bad. The number of emotional beats I hit in a scene feels unreal. It’s like a game of chess with myself—and I wonder how many moves I’ll cut in edits 😅.

Until then, I’m just going to follow their path and see where it takes us. I’m enjoying the wandering and the thinking along the way. 🖤✨

#amwriting #firstdraftclub #writerlife #writersofinstagram #writercheckin #writingcommunity #witchyhorrorromance

Spring’s rolling in with snakes, wasps, and torn

Spring’s rolling in with snakes, wasps, and tornado watches—but it’s still winter in my mind, thanks to Stars. Going to cross the 60k mark today, and I’m feeling so good about those 10k words that got me past my midpoint stall out.

While I dive into whispering winds, soft flakes, and nights that keep getting colder and darker, the office is taking in a little more light, and the Hoyas are starting to unfurl some new growth points. On the equinox, I plan to clean all the dust off their leaves and give them their first fertilization of the year. Until then, their growth is slow, like mine.

One session at a time. 🌿✨

#writer #writingdesk #hoyahoe #hoyaheads #firstdraftclub #amwriting

Finding my way back ❄️✨ #RejectionBluesBeDa

Finding my way back ❄️✨

#RejectionBluesBeDamned

#amwriting #winterstory #witchyhorrorromance #writingvibes #writingaesthetic #firstdraftclub #writerlife #writer #scrivener

This is for the grid, more than anything else—a

This is for the grid, more than anything else—a record here of another rejected full, like the two that came before. That’s it on the outstanding requests. I’m full-less.

We’re not done querying; there’s still a shred of hope for more requests to come.

And I’m also hoping Stars will start to feel like a querying journey silver lining as opposed to wasted effort on a shelved universe. Doesn’t hurt to beta it with two sets of readers—newbs and veterans—and give it its own shot in the trenches, since it is a companion story more than a prequel. Cosmic’s not ready to go anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️.

But as we come closer and closer to Moon’s one year anniversary in the trenches (April), I’m starting to hear death knells. I’m starting to look to the other eggs in other baskets. My heart’s heavy, despite knowing this isn’t the end and that I’ll never—ever—give up on this dream. Hybrid and indie are not off the table. There are other books, other loves.

Still, I’m grieving heavier today than days past. Team feel your feels, always ✌🏻

So there you have it, grid 🖤✨.

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